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The things you say to strangers
Links open in new window
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<han>
Funny IRC Quotes
posted on: 01-05-2004
posted by : Juan "cyber" Treminio
(Zybl0re) get up
(Zybl0re) get on up
(Zybl0re) get up
(Zybl0re) get on up
(phxl|paper) and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances \-(
* nmp3bot dances |-(
* nmp3bot dances /-(
([SA]HatfulOfHollow) i'm going to become rich and famous after i
invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over
the internet
----------------------------------
(erno) hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to
ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my
apartment it is.
----------------------------------
(Donut[AFK]) HEY EURAKARTE
(Donut[AFK]) INSULT
(Eurakarte) RETORT
(Donut[AFK]) COUNTER-RETORT
(Eurakarte) QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
(Donut[AFK]) SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
(Eurakarte) NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
(Donut[AFK]) RIPOSTE
(Donut[AFK]) ADDON RIPOSTE
(Eurakarte) COUNTER-RIPOSTE
(Donut[AFK]) COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
(Eurakarte) NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
(Miles_Prower) RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN
OPPOSING SIDES
(Eurakarte) WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
(Miles_Prower) ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS
----------------------------------
(tatclass) YOU ALL SUCK DICK
(tatclass) er.
(tatclass) hi.
(andy\code) A common typo.
(tatclass) the keys are like right next to each other.
t0rbad) so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder) i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder) WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder) IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder) AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder) NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder) NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder) IN FACT
BlackAdder) IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder) I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder) SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad) so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError) right
heartless) Right.
r3v) right
----------------------------------
(xterm) The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying
there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't
we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the
problem solve itself?
----------------------------------
(turno) I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking
cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join
us too.
(Seeker) Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
(turno) I'll fucking KILL YOU! !
(Seeker) Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you
just said she'd be pretty angry right?
(turno) Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be
ruining my life.
(Seeker) Don't worry, I won't post it.
[Privmsg] (Seeker) Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you
post it on bash.org?
[Privmsg] (opiate) the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!
[Privmsg] (Seeker) hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him
to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.
[Privmsg] (opiate) yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us,
still I reckon it's worth it
[Privmsg] (turno) You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't
.. I'm begging you.
[Privmsg] (Seeker) I'm not gonna post it and even if I did she'd
never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .
[Privmsg] (turno) *phew* spose you have a point
----------------------------------
* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me
it's bm being an asshole -
(ab) HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS
----------------------------------
(JonJonB) Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the
word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
(JonJonB) Let's see the results...
(JonJonB) "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
(JonJonB) "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got
expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped
me wang in half an' everything
(JonJonB) A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really
looking forward to.
(JonJonB) "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry
Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It
seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first
wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice
wang for charm work."
(JonJonB) "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang.
Eleven inches. "
(JonJonB) Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his
fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing
down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks
shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light
on to the walls
(JonJonB) "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's
wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
(JonJonB) The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a
troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and
Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had
gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.
(JonJonB) He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's
nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
(JonJonB) He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and
you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled
his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
(JonJonB) Ok
(JonJonB) I have found, definitive proof
(JonJonB) that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool
of us all
(JonJonB) "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and
moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep
his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any
second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't
think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to...
or did he?
(melusine ) O_______O
(JonJonB) Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from
the end of his wang
(JonJonB) Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the
silvery substance with its tip.
(JonJonB) 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they
struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with
his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised
wang.
----------------------------------
(ohm) damn
(ohm) FUCK
(ohm) DAMN
(ohm) i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my
grandmother's window pops up
(ohm) FUCK
(ohm) i go like this to her
(ohm) "i want to suck on your clit"
(ohm) FUCK
----------------------------------
(AgentSmith) It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr.
Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at
a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat
alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and
being a generally immature pest...
(AgentSmith) One of these...has a future.
(Randerson) LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about
this
(AgentSmith) How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m
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(Zanthis(ALE)) AFK, tornado
----------------------------------
(Beeth) Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are
already taken.
(honx) well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P
----------------------------------
(kow`) "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who
understand binary and those who don't."
(SpaceRain) That's only 2 types of people, kow.
(SpaceRain) STUPID
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(tag) Ouroboros: lets play Pong
(Ouroboros) Ok.
(tag) | .
(Ouroboros) . |
(tag) | .
(Ouroboros) . |
(tag) | .
(Ouroboros) | .
(Ouroboros) Whoops
----------------------------------
(calin) we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was
all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator
(ecoli) ew.
(ecoli) wait, you "caught" him?
(ecoli) like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator
store?
(Aero) he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)
----------------------------------
(ckx) women ask for it
(ckx) they act all old and mature
(ckx) and then you stick your cock up their ass
(ckx) and they get all bitchy
(ckx) "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"
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(mage) what should I give sister for unzipping?
(Kevyn) Um. Ten bucks?
(mage) no I mean like, WinZip?
----------------------------------
(BombScare) i beat the internet
(BombScare) the end guy is hard
----------------------------------
(superwoman) I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off
while I had a mouthful of beer.
(GrandCow) HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
(superwoman) DANNY?!?!?!
(GrandCow) MOM?!?!?!?!
----------------------------------
(glome) Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
(content) glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
(glome) Who me?!
(content) Yes you!
(glome) Couldn't be!a
(content) Then WHO?!!
(glome) Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the
motherfucking cookie, bitch)
----------------------------------
(studdud) what the fuck is wtf
----------------------------------
(blazemore) LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a
15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony
PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
(FlipTopBx) is it modded?
----------------------------------
(wolf) 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in
pile A
(wolf) 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
(wolf) 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the
Business Reply Mail Envelope.
(wolf) 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the
envelope you hold in your hand.
(wolf) 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and
walk away whistling.
(wolf) I have now received two phone calls from the credit card
companies telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with
coupons rather then my application. They informed me that it they
are not pleased that they footed the bill for the crap I sent
them. I reply with "It says Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting
coupons to you to ensure that your business is more successful.
They promptly hang up on me.
(wolf) Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so
I got an added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to
the envelope so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call
informing me about the money, I said it was a mistake and I
demanded my change back. After yelling at the clerk and then to
the supervisor they agreed to my demands and cut me a check for
the money. I hold in my hand at this very moment a check from GTE
Visa for exactly 33 cents.
----------------------------------
(Night-hen-gayle) I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's
watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes
dude next to me, I mean you.
----------------------------------
(Hiroe) he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
(Hiroe) like, HUGE costume
(Hiroe) 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
(Hiroe) at some anime con in california
(Hiroe) they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in
the same hotel
(Hiroe) he's riding the elevator down to the con space
(Hiroe) doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
(Hiroe) he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice
----------------------------------
(Spazz) Seems like when I say "FUCK" you get an EOF error
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read
error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
(Bartolimis) fuck
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read
error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
(Bartolimis) fuck
(Spazz) fuck
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read
error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
(Spazz) fuck
(Bartolimis) stop
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read
error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
(Bartolimis) we're done )
(Ranto) hmh?
(Spazz) Your client got an error...
(Bartolimis) yeah, we're done saying fuck
(Spazz) everytime we said f***
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read
error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
(Spazz) Quit saying fukc
(Bartolimis) my bad
(Spazz) fuck*
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read
error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
(Icc) Someone says fuck and he drops ?
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read
error: EOF from client)
----------------------------------
(DaZE) at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to
show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these
back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting
searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone
got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4
----------------------------------
(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?
(alec_eso): 1, morganj
(morganj): bastard.
----------------------------------
(Guo_Si) Hey, you know what sucks?
(TheXPhial) vaccuums
(Guo_Si) Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
(TheXPhial) black holes
(Guo_Si) Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
(TheXPhial) lava?
----------------------------------
(Kazz) Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let
this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing,
and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and
control the anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that
vampires don't have anuses.
(Zaratustra) a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
(Zaratustra) like a network card without the appropriate driver.
(Kazz) Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
(Sharkey) And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.
----------------------------------
(Charlesowns) Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at
the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the
porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun
trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden
this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to
suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100
popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
(Charlesowns) man my mom started crying and now she thinks im
gay... it owns
----------------------------------
(Jeedo) hey baby, whats up?
(Indidge) umm....nothing?
(Jeedo) So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
(Indidge) Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
(Jeedo) Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/
----------------------------------
(NES) lol
(NES) I download something from Napster
(NES) And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it
from me when I'm done
(NES) I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that
from you"
(NES) "getting my song back fucker"
----------------------------------
(h|tler) HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT
I'M WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????
----------------------------------
*** Quits: TITANIC (Excess Flood)
----------------------------------
(+kritical) christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff
yourself..
(+Christin1) how do i do that
----------------------------------
(Raize) can you guys see what I type?
(vecna) no, raize
(Raize) How do I set it up so you can see it?
----------------------------------
(Sui88) 67% of girls are stupid
(V-girl) i belong with the other 13%
----------------------------------
(Mikkel) If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your
friend and you woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up
your ass would you tell anybody?
(Celestya) i dont think so
(Mikkel) Wanna go camping?
----------------------------------
* dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts
* dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha
(dregan) Oh shit.
----------------------------------
(Sigurd) a sprite is anything not static
(SRElysian) a sprite is a variable object
(SRElysian) be it 2d or 3d
(TorMuck) a sprite is a fucking soda
(TorMuck) you god damn geekass bastards
----------------------------------
(FM{FF1}) Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.
(FM{FF1}) ...men.
(FM{FF1}) GOD THAT WAS A BAD TYPO.
----------------------------------
(blazemore) omg i love this song
(blazemore) Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps.
(0:47/3:24)
(Javi) blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song
----------------------------------
(skrike) I think the people above me are having sex
(skrike) either that or they're sleeping restlessly and agreeing
with each other a lot.
----------------------------------
(Paradox) So, guys, I have some news.
(Paradox) I know I usually don't talk much about stuff unless it's
solid, but this is interesting, and I think you should know.
(Paradox) I just got an E-mail about an interesting proposition.
* volsung_ perks up.
(Paradox) Apparently, there are lesbians that want my 'hard cock.'
* volsung_ flips Paradox the bird.
(Paradox) They want it 'now,' apparently, so the timetable is
somewhat limited.
(volsung_) Are you going to just take their offer as presented, or
is there an opportunity for negotiation?
(Paradox) I'm not sure.
(volsung_) I'm sure your hard cock is in great demand. An
exclusive deal might not be in your best interest.
(Paradox) Last time I got an offer like this, there were some
catches.
----------------------------------
(reuben) somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door,
then running away
(reuben) i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some
electricity to the doorknob
(cristobal) why don't you put ice on the stairs
(cristobal) and heat up the door knob
(cristobal) and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer
(cristobal) then a few years later, fade from the public eye.....
----------------------------------
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps
[01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps
[01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps
[01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches english?
[01:35] (hilo21) fuck you
[01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my ass, but can't read
the road signs to get to my house?
----------------------------------
(@Logan) I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident.
(@Logan) I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?"
----------------------------------
(orion`-`-) what the fuck
(orion`-`-) i think the icecream truck just hit a kid
(orion`-`-) brbrb |
|
Cyber Sex Attempts
posted on: 01-05-2004
posted by : Juan "cyber" Treminio
Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice
aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you,
bloodninja.
Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard
hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
Bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
Bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real
beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
Bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8
Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
Bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the
Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is
ridiculous.
Bloodninja: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer
of the lands.
Bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000
Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only
a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
Bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning
shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles
of metal.
Bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr.
Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war
ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was
cause of him.
Bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
Bloodninja: Baby?
--------------------------------------------------
Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I
can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you
are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part
of the game.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge
your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus
about to charge your ass.
Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough
skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like
some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you
see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a
bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
Bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.
--------------------------------------------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your
muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard
hat.
BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me
again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna
report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck
up.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
--------------------------------------------------
Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O'
Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Sarah19fca: you like that?
Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a
fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.
--------------------------------------------------
Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa
John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of
your car..
Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa
John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just
dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa
John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials,
and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What
toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause
I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook,
and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja: How did you know?
Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the
shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza
down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a
pizza oven
DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet
and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and
unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey
cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are
rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in
seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front
door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit
DirtyKate: fuck
--------------------------------------------------
Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING
vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my
spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of
grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking
more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My
insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky
cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all
over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
MommyMelissa: whatever.
--------------------------------------------------
ADDED 5/14/2003
sweet17: Hi
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don't ******* laugh at me!
bloodninja: This **** is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a ******* break
bloodninja: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are ******* sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up.
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: **** you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send
to me.
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not
pretty
bloodninja: Most cops aren't
sweet17: IM NOT A ******* COP YOU ********!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my
picture?
sweet17: yes
bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn't you.
bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that.
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go **** yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: **** YOU!!!
bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
sweet17: You're a ******* *******!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
sweet17: No you aren't
bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
bloodninja: You heard me.
bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after
seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited
yes
bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I'm afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat.
then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage
your thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge
brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth ****.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist
with every stroke.
bloodninja: I softly suck on your **** bringing it in and out of
my mouth.
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its
way to my nose.
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I **** harder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: ...still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your *******.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your
ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a ******* candy apple...
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: **** YOU *******!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the
cabin...
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: ...going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
--------------------------------------------------
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high
heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My
measurements are 36- 24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 280 pounds.I wear glasses and I
have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from
Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue
sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on
the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking
up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your
crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are
trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off
slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk
slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling
and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally
rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My
soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and
harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's
stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching
back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air
caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and
inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel
your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know,
breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm
nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit
and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the
remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it
with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing
your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all
over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm
choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm
fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you
keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the
cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's
dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm oaning. I want you
so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our
naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It
hurts.
Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place
the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the
room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around
for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush
handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper.
Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly
feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in
your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I
kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't
stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous
look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner
all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on
my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night
table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair
spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my
shoes. oes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God!
One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire!
I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart: BYE!!11
--------------------------------------------------
murph_304: hi
murph_304: there
bIond_n_a_vette: hi ya stud
murph_304: hows your cat
bIond_n_a_vette: hungry for your manhood
murph_304: so how did you afford to get a vette..??
bIond_n_a_vette: i worked a lot of hours on my back, want ride
me?
bIond_n_a_vette: i am more fun to ride in than my vette
murph_304: Hmmmmm, really?
bIond_n_a_vette: yes
murph_304: how old are you.?
bIond_n_a_vette: 23
murph_304: and what do you look like..??
bIond_n_a_vette: blond, with big tits
murph_304: where are you from..
bIond_n_a_vette: houston
murph_304: damn, a long way away.... but i wish i was
there........
bIond_n_a_vette: want to have sex over the phone?
murph_304: it will cost a fortune............
bIond_n_a_vette: ill call you then
bIond_n_a_vette: whats your number?
murph_304: but i'm from sydney, australia
murph_304: not even in the us
bIond_n_a_vette: i dont care, i want to hear your manly voice
murph_304: i cant at the moment...... but add me to your friends
list and maybe we can later..
bIond_n_a_vette: its now or never
murph_304: Whats your name anyway
bIond_n_a_vette: Ralph
murph_304: Ralph..????????/
--------------------------------------------------
J-Dogg: You there baby??
Partner2: Yeah I'm here.
J-Dogg: You ready?
Partner2: Okay.
J-Dogg: I take off my trenchcoat I'm nekked beneath, with
pistols on my belt.
Partner2: Cowboy boots?
J-Dogg: WWI era trench issue boots.
Partner2: okay...
J-Dogg: Help me pull my boots off baby.
Partner2: Whats that smell?
J-Dogg: Rotting toes.
Partner2: Ummm...
J-Dogg: My boots pop off. My feet are black. The toes crumble
off with the slightest touch. The dead black tissue that was
once my skin chips off in large crispy flakes. A smell of death
pervades the room. Gangrenous pus drips from the ends of the
stumps where my toes were. I look deep in your eyes, and shove
my tongue down your throat.
Partner2: ...
J-Dogg: You carress my ass, and trim my pubes...
--------------------------------------------------
J-Dogg: Ok baby, you promise me you will stick around till I'm
done?
(partner4=Ben 'Affleck', alone on a saturday night because he is
a peice of moldy rat shit, is posing as a young girl looking for
cyber partners.)
Ben:Yeah Mr. Dogg. Anything for you, you are so handsome and
studly.
J-Dogg: Good, now I'm into some wierd shit, so don't be
surprised aight?
Ben: ok mr. Doggy I promise.
J-Dogg: Aight then, we settle down on the couch...
Ben: Oh romantic? This isn't wierd, I like it like that baby.
What else.
J-Dogg: I put in a movie so that your mom can't hear us. It is
called "Good Will Hunting".
Ben: Aaahhhh....
J-Dogg: I like this movie a lot.
Ben: Ok, thats cool.
J-Dogg: You start getting frisky so I put my hand down your
undies. They have care bears on them. You are my 15 year old
niece and we are in my aunts house.
Ben: ohhhh I like where this is going...
J-Dogg: Suddenly this fuck with short dark hair comes on the TV
screen. I think his name is Ben something. He is a real piece of
moldy rat shit. I can't keep it up because of him. I need some
shark fin soup.
Ben: What the fuck, you are the piece of shit, what you got
against Ben Affleck, I heard he's real good in the sack, and
gets ALL the ladies.
J-Dogg: Yeah right, I bet he's at home right now geting it on
with some guy.
Ben: Fuck you I'm out of here. And Ben Affleck is 100% not gay,
I can assure you of that.
(Ben logs off and cries himself to sleep)
J-Dogg: Goddammit, not again.
J-Dogg: Still not hard either.
J-Dogg: Fuck.
--------------------------------------------------
Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You
know, rollin with tha homies and shit.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
Partner6: It likes that.
J-Dogg: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only
fuck women...
J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the
guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dipshit.
J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.
--------------------------------------------------
J-Dogg: I see you in line at the supermarket. Our eyes meet.
Partner8: Who the fuck are you?
J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion:
J-Dogg: Fuck me, Fuck me.
J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this
moment to last forever.
Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me?
J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops.
I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge
that forms in your thigh.
Partner8: Is that like cancer?
J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the
technology of chemotherapy.
Partner8: Good one romeo.
J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. you tihink it must be
taking over your mind, theres nothing else you can think of. My
tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku.
The salmon swim at night.
Towards your room.
The snow and the moon.
Partner8: that was never a haiku.
J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex.
Without my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness.
Partner8: That made even less sense than your "haiku"
J-Dogg: So you ready to fuck then?
Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of
my underwear, and your spent.
J-Dogg: ...
Partner8: ?
J-Dogg: I'm spent.
--------------------------------------------------
**UPDATE 9/23/03**
QT-Pie: Hey
Jdogg: whats goin on
QT-Pie: Nothing. Who are you?
Jdogg: Jdogg. Wanna cyber?
QT-Pie: what does that mean?
Jdogg: what are you wearing?
QT-Pie: T-shirt. Jeans.
Jdogg: Garter belt?
QT-Pie: Ummm...no.
Jdogg: Are we gonna cyber or not?
QT-Pie: uh, okay.
Jdogg: Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love
this.
Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your stink from here.
QT-Pie: WHAT?!
Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra.
Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
Jdogg: You leave everything to jdogg.
Jdogg: I am completely inside of you. You are my dik puppet. I
put on a little play.
QT-Pie: This is weird. I should go.
Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your
back.
QT-Pie: A stripe?
Jdogg: I need a sandwich.
QT-Pie: You're a freak.
Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.
--------------------------------------------------
Mandy4u26: Yeah I'm here.
J-Dogg: You ready?
Mandy4u26: Okay.
J-Dogg: I take off my trenchcoat I'm nekked beneath, with
pistols on my belt.
Mandy4u26: Cowboy boots?
J-Dogg: WWI era trench issue boots.
Mandy4u26: okay...
J-Dogg: Help me pull my boots off baby.
Mandy4u26: Whats that smell?
J-Dogg: Rotting toes.
Mandy4u26: Ummm...
J-Dogg: My boots pop off. My feet are black. The toes crumble
off with the slightest touch. The dead black tissue that was
once my skin chips off in large crispy flakes. A smell of death
pervades the room. Gangrenous pus drips from the ends of the
stumps where my toes were. I look deep in your eyes, and shove
my tongue down your throat.
Mandy4u26: ...
J-Dogg: You carress my ass, and trim my pubes...
|
|
Funny IRC quotes (15 comments:
Threaded, Flat)
Posted by AshR @ 09:09 GMT, 27 Apr 2004 - iMsg*, Reply
(Forum: OT)
hahaha. old but funny. http://www.bash.org/?top
426 Hits
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New Comment #1 @ 09:25 GMT, 27 Apr 2004
By pgh
(Reply)
Quotes from a post on ere about Weed:
HaTHor: hugs not drugs <3
supacoo: you make less sense than julia stiles' face.
scOOp: its good that its illegal. i dont want my kids to be able
to buy a joint at every corner:
"i take a snickers"
"i'll get that powerbar"
"give me two scooby snacks, one caramel corn and a bunch of them
stoney brownies"
Thorin: I guess you'd also prefer alcohol to be illegal so they
have to buy that off gangsters like in 1920s America right?
supacoo: look at amsterdam. weed is legalized, and they have
stricter consequences than the US for "hard drugs". they have
the lowest crime rate in europe, don't they? they smoke a bowl
instead of shooting themselves in the face over an argument.
that's perfect. why not do that? marijuana is great. it opens
your mind to new ideas, offers a common bond between people who
wouldn't normally have one, offers relaxation, pleasure and a
safe source of enjoyment.
Randoms from IRC:
(+Hiddenpower) he does a crap impression of jesus | (@cyk) he is
a chicken :)
<razzzz> there you were whacking off to some other chick and
your g/f distracts you without even bothering to make you a
cuppa - <[Quantum]> i couldn't beleave it
(+wibbler): sno: And i didnt talk much when u select kde from
tasksel it will come in/out of ram with a phase of stoned
madness to be a virus, said the other im a graphics card with a
couple of days are both quite blatently stoned ucked out of an
animal that eats both plant and smoke his backup joint.
(@pgh) what a good idea that is tbh | (@pgh) wrist rests | (+Wazzerphuk)
wrist rests give me rsi :/ | (@pgh) uve not seen these ones | (@mastrplan)
http://irc.evtek.fi/urllog/2004/03/24/1080082883763.jpg | (+Wazzerphuk)
wow. fantastic. | (+Wazzerphuk) what a quality product.
(@pgh) afhakfhfaw (@pgh) just drnak fuckin ash (@pgh)
!1111111111 (@pgh) phone went and i answered it (@pgh) not
thinkin (@pgh) grabbed bottle (@pgh) drank (@pgh) was ashtray
(@lsr-IcE-T) and to imagine pgh and me didnt even use our secret
weapon (@pgh) i fire ice t from my panzer (@lsr-IcE-T) and i
kill ehm al flyin by (@pgh) takes a while to load him in tho (@pgh)
fat fuck
@Kiwi`: they should have more themed days | @Kiwi`: 'massive
english breakfast day'
sno on going to Lan in London :: @sno: got a list of stuff ineed
2 bring tmorrow | @sno: fone | @sno: me | @sno: cash | @sno:
wasnt i spose to be somewhere today..
[22:40] <lsr|Scorpio> i suck :p [22:41] <xeno``> well, i spose
its a skill that can be used
(@pghzzz) we were talkin about that shattered at lan (@pghzzz)
and I was saying about after 72 hrs u can halucinate (@pghzzz) I
swear down I was freaking out.. cant even remember being on irc
(@pghzzz) my mum watched me.. (@pghzzz) she said to me, she came
in my room (@pghzzz) I just looked at her (@pghzzz) then fell of
the chair (@pghzzz) then my dad carried me into me bed
(@Psycho_Al) In an attempt to wake myself up at work today, I
threw coffee all over my legs and desk. It worked.
<fearl3ss> i get really confident on coke <fearl3ss> ask police
men in there cars for a light <fearl3ss> for mi spliff
(bigbb) Anyone seen that awful advert before movies recently.
Copyright is Cool! | (panna) COPYRIGHT IS TEH WIN! | (JingleBells)
piracy funds terriorism :) | (bigbb) Ah yes. | (panna) i got
Osama next to me l33ching
(@tnxeh`) he was saying tho (@tnxeh`) I was being a bad covert
(@tnxeh`) which was true since I was a medic
(@cyk) u should see them flirting in #stoner :) ----> (@Demise)
good sleepy ? (@sno) yer (@sno) slept like a baby :) (@Demise)
:))
(@xeno``) a house full of sexy lesbians (@xeno``) who dont have
a problem having orgies in the living room (@xeno``) when u get
back from work (@sno) /quit knoppix /o ?? quit: (sno) (sno@__sno__.users.quakenet.org)
(Quit: knoppix /o) (@cyk) he runs to linux instead of chatting
about lesbians
(@lsr|IcE-T) sumomo do u like sex ? (@Sumomo) lsr|ice-t: Sure I
do, , but that doesn't mean with you.
New Comment #2 @ 09:38 GMT, 27 Apr 2004
By AshR - Reply to #1
(Reply)
(bigbb) Anyone seen that awful advert before movies recently.
Copyright is Cool! | (panna) COPYRIGHT IS TEH WIN! | (JingleBells)
piracy funds terriorism :) | (bigbb) Ah yes. | (panna) i got
Osama next to me l33ching
hahahahaahahaha
New Comment #3 @ 10:24 GMT, 27 Apr 2004
By Irish Prick
(Reply)
dood... that shit if phricken great!
New Comment #4 @ 14:21 GMT, 27 Apr 2004
By Paladia
(Reply)
<Foxglove> Watched a great film last night "Eyes wide shut"
<Paladia> Foxglove, I love the scene in it when the aliens
backfire on the mothership
<Foxglove> Paladia: yes, you must have been watching the p0rno
version then :P
<Paladia> I watched tne swedish <not censored> version
<Xanothis> I love the bit where he takes a disc from his
overcoat, and throws it around the room decapitating people.
<Paladia> Xanothis, I think I recall that, was it just after tom
cruise went invisible thanks to the alien cloaking device?
<Jiggaboy> I thought that was a Kubrick wierdo Love/Drama...
<Xanothis> Then Wesley Snipes came along too
<Xanothis> and started swinging his mighty sword around
<Paladia> Wesley plays a hitler copy, right?
<Xanothis> Yeah!!
<Jiggaboy> This isn't Eyes Wide Shut tho, I thought that was
just love/pr0n
<Jiggaboy> I never knew about all this alien crap
<Xanothis> And after Cruise takes the cloaking device, he goes
out after Snipes, with the katana
<Paladia> When he runs into a room filled with zombie, cruises
with a lawnmower, and guts them down
<Jiggaboy> you are so bullshitting me
<Jiggaboy> it's so obvious
<Jiggaboy> Jeez, i beieved you for a second
11%
New Comment #5 @ 15:27 GMT, 27 Apr 2004
By Grave
(Reply)
my band is gonna be called: rage against the answering machine
lmao
New Comment #6 @ 16:20 GMT, 27 Apr 2004
By AshR - Reply to #5
(Reply)
hahahahahaha
New Comment #7 @ 16:54 GMT, 27 Apr 2004
By tom
(Reply)
[21:00] <`tom> blueyonder gaming was good till people caught on
[21:00] <`tom> and it became busty
[21:00] <`tom> er
[21:00] <`tom> busy
[21:00] <THERAILMCCOY> lol
[21:00] <THERAILMCCOY> hahaha
[21:00] <THERAILMCCOY> what a great typo
New Comment #8 @ 19:02 GMT, 27 Apr 2004
By Khorne - Reply to #7
(Reply)
Haha, a freudian slip.
New Comment #9 @ 19:51 GMT, 27 Apr 2004
By Anonymous (213.177.64.182)
(Reply)
:)
New Comment #10 @ 22:22 GMT, 27 Apr 2004
By ScOOp
(Reply)
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right
----
omg... i think i just wet my pants
edit: yep... they're wet
Edited by ScOOp at 22:33 GMT, 27th Apr 2004
New Comment #12 @ 12:04 GMT, 28 Apr 2004
By wEctro - Reply to #10
(Reply)
hahaha :D owned
New Comment #11 @ 04:22 GMT, 28 Apr 2004
By ScOOp
(Reply)
<blazemore> my brother is in a quake3 clan
<blazemore> and he had a ctf game tonight
<blazemore> and like
<blazemore> we were walking out of tilt
<blazemore> his friend goes "dude hurry up, you're gonna be late
for you clan meeting"
<blazemore> and these black guys were walking by
<blazemore> and looked like they were about to kick our asses
----
rofl...
New Comment #13 @ 12:17 GMT, 28 Apr 2004
By Jay - Reply to #11
(Reply)
DOH :D
New Comment #14 @ 13:45 GMT, 28 Apr 2004
By ulrich
(Reply)
<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading
it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that
from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"
-
<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao
-
*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot.
For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
<Abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21
<Word_of_God> Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the
morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.
- (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b
*!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please
dont Swear)
<Abstruse> I know I'm never going to be able to come back in
this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see
that...
-
<@FirebirdGM> I just called my Futureshop and asked them how
much a 20 GB Hard drive weighed when it was full with
information, compared to when it was empty.
<@FirebirdGM> The guy that was on the phone told me that it was
only a few pounds difference.
<@FirebirdGM> And that's why I don't shop at futureshop.
<%Physic3> I think their bullshit factor is the best though. No
matter how absurd your question may be, they always give an
answer.
<@Firebird> Lol, I should call again and be like 'uhh, yes. I
just bought a New ACIT BIOS and my UDP Packets are being
Tracert'd by my UNIX Box without my Fortran application being
applied to all outgoing UDP and TCP packets. My Ping never is
like that, why?!"
<@Firebird> He would probably be like 'Yes'.
----
Just some of my favourites..
New Comment #15 @ 19:28 GMT, 28 Apr 2004
By Larvi
(Reply)
xc32z: my dad is on the pc now
smr-guga: fuck you mr. heinze! son of a bitch :>
i had a great laugh :D
|
|
#28512 (1639/2329)
* ion has joined #sp
<ion> today's my birthday
<deMoN> yo happy bday man ;)
<ion> thanks, my dad brought me a new case home from his work
today
<ion> ok, it's not a new case, it's my old one...i didnt like
the gray metal frame so i wanted to change the color
<plague> What color?
<ion> gold. i was going to spray paint it, but it would have
ended up melting. so my dad said he'd take it to work
<ion> he works at this metal coating place
<ion> just brought it home today. looks awesome
<plague> So you have a gold plated tower?
<ion> no it's not gold...something else...let me go ask
<ion> copper. it's copper
<plague> Copper plated?? Is it running right now?
<ion> no dude...on my other pc..i just finished hooking up the
mobo and stuff, i'm about to start it
<ion> stand back
<plague> Before you turn it on...I think you should know
something...
* ion has quit IRC (No Route to Host)
<plague> Copper is a conductor of electricity.
<deMoN> think we should have told him?
<zeff> nah, it's funnier this way.
<plague> of course...<>
-+
#29482 (959/1427)
docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking
EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra
$69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun
wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with
it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo
dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long
distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)
-+
#30562 (659/785)
<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
* frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...
-+
#29166 (815/1235)
<BoZmAn20> Goddamnit, my ex girlfriend has such horrible taste
in men
<BoZmAn20> wait
<BoZmAn20> Shit.
-+
#1578 (776/1180)
<calin> we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and
was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an
assvibrator
<ecoli> ew.
<ecoli> wait, you "caught" him?
<ecoli> like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator
store?
<Aero> he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)
-+
#32511 (565/717)
(Feeks) Hey can anyone help me I've been building a computer?
(@Wabz) Whats up?
(Feeks) Well i built it but it wont turn on
(@Wabz) Is the PSU connected to the board and harddrive etc
(Feeks) Yeah I'm not fucking stupid
(@Wabz) lol ok then, can you hear the fan on the PSU?
(Feeks) Yeah so it's turned on ya fucking muppet
(@Wabz) Fair enough then
(@Wabz) There should be a little red switch on the back of the
PSU saying 240
(Feeks) Yeah man
(Feeks) ??? Hurry up some of us dont have all day
(@Wabz) OK OK lol push it over so it says 115 and you'll get
more power going to the board
(Feeks) Then Plug it in?
(@Wabz) Yeah
(KLine) hehe :)
@Wabz puts his fingers in his ears
(Feeks) You fucking bastard you blew it up
(@Wabz) No i told you how to blow it up
(@Wabz) You blew it up
(Feeks) Fucker!!
(@Wabz) !kb Feeks
—› mode: (Wanda) sets (+b
*!*@host213-122-140-17.in-addr.btopenworld.com)
-+
#5300 (741/1243)
<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.
-+
#4680 (698/1114)
<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?
-+
#4281 (739/1261)
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D\-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i
invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over
the internet
-+
#42 (-516/616)
<da_spork> ill give you the honor of having my first quote
-+
#60 (-503/589)
*** EtherMan sets mode: +oo DigDug prysuxirl
-+
#3936 (680/1086)
<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff
yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that
-+
#4753 (689/1131)
<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying
there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why
don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let
the problem solve itself?
-+
#30454 (695/1151)
(Sprite): boiled egg?
(Sprite): im a spack cook
(LoneGun): sprite just do in microwave for like 2 mins
(Sprite): on it's own lonegun ?
(LoneGun): aye sprite
(Ched): 2 mins
(Ched): for 650 watt microwave
(Sprite): so a egg, in a bowl, on it's own for 2 mins in a
microwave ?
(Sprite): n1 im off to cook
(Sprite): k guys
(Sprite): u guys are cocks
(Sprite): the egg just blow up
-+
#29168 (684/1130)
<Arai> I use my right hand for everything except *one* thing.
<Arai> Not wanking.
<Arai> I wipe my ass with my left hand.
<Vhabion> I use toillet paper
-+
#30020 (643/1087)
**You know you're in a Racist channel when you see this**
(19:22:54)<Jaayy> I like my coffee the way I like my niggers.
(19:22:59)<Naive-EOC> Dead?
(19:23:01)<Derid-EOC> In the Field?
(19:23:02)<Ball-licker> In jail?
(19:23:06)<Humur> Killing each other?
(19:23:08)<Naive-EOC> Stealing?
(19:23:09)<Sailym> Covered in blood?
(19:23:11)<Humur> 5$ a piece?
(19:23:13)<Derid-EOC> Stupid?
(19:23:20)<Jaayy> ...
(19:23:31)<Jaayy> BLACK YOU FUCKING RACIST BASTARDS! I LIKE MY
COFFEE BLACK!
-+
#31256 (511/687)
<pronstar``afk> my kazaa preformed an illegal opperation
<cCCPehlet`> isn't that what kazaa is designed to do?
-+
#32235 (463/567)
<pigeon-mirk> davey made that avatar for me, i am eternally in
his bed
<pigeon-mirk> debt
<pigeon-mirk> DEBT!
-+
#30033 (568/868)
<Backslash> So a friend of mind comes over to my house and stays
the night
<Backslash> Now there is a computer and t.v. in my room so
naturally she spent most of the day in there and since I only
have once chair in it she sat on my bed
<Backslash> Well at like 4am she fell asleep on it while I was
on the computer and I didn’t have the heart to wake her up so I
slept on the couch downstairs
<Backslash> Like a month later I’m over at her house with a
bunch of her friends and since there was no where to sleep I
slept on the couch again
<Backslash> The next morning during breakfast one of her friends
says you look tired
<Backslash> and I was like yeah I didn’t sleep great I’m kinda
used to my bed
<Backslash> then my friend goes yeah your bed is awesome!
<Backslash> I froze and glanced over at her parents who gave me
the most evil look I have ever seen…
-+
#30108 (572/888)
<@manero> this song sounds like a fucking fire alarm
<@manero> BEEEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEEEE
BEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
<@manero> oh shit
<@manero> IT IS THE FIRE ALARM
<@manero> hahah fuck me bbrk
-+
#369 (646/1148)
<Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like
are already taken.
<honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P
-+
#29167 (627/1103)
<Digga> they're all shit in my....WHAT THE FUCK?
<Digga> it sounded like someone just tried to kick the door in
<Digga> brb
<Digga> i open the door
<Digga> someone's lying there
<Jiggaboy> wtf
<Digga> they came to deliver a pizza leaflet
<Digga> tripped up the step
<Digga> smashed into the door
<Digga> and fell over
-+
#11 (-465/629)
<dazz:#cdr> its it possible to read half a disk at a time, eg, i
have a small hd, can i read 300 mb, burn it, and the do the
another 300 mb, and som on, eg on a psx game
-+
#29230 (657/1257)
<idsif> you're smarter than the average american
<ascian> of course. i'm canadian.
-+
#6824 (601/1067)
<@Logan> I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident.
<@Logan> I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?"
-+
#4848 (631/1201)
<ohm> damn
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> DAMN
<ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my
grandmother's window pops up
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> i go like this to her
<ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"
<ohm> FUCK
-+
#5301 (595/1071)
<blazemore> LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a
15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony
PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
<FlipTopBx> is it modded?
-+
#5273 (624/1182)
<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds
to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in
my apartment it is.
-+
#29152 (600/1122)
<luqin> senior year
<luqin> my roomate is on a job interview for sam adams
<luqin> he's on a ridealong with a sales guy
<luqin> they start talking about music
<luqin> sales guy goes
<luqin> "gwen stefani is pretty hot"
<luqin> my roomate is trying to be professional
<luqin> says "yeah she's pretty attractive"
<MadHack-> heh
<luqin> 30 seconds of silence
<luqin> sales guy goes
<luqin> "I'd eat her ass"
<dave__> HAHAHAHAHA
<MadHack-> ahahahahaha
<erobbins> HAHAHAHAHA
<russur> HAHAHAHAHA
<dave__> fuck i just spit out my lemonade
-+
#86 (-484/732)
<EM> heh i wonder if there will be any black people in my
classes
<EM> like i couldnt imagine black ppl being in cisco routing!!
because black people just jack cars!!!
-+
#9497 (502/794)
(@eliaz`medal): i have broken two of my erm
(@eliaz`medal): foot things
(@eliaz`medal): extensions
(@eliaz`medal): those little thigns on ur feet
(@eliaz`medal): 5 on each ::
(@eliaz`medal): :/
(@eliaz`medal): dunno name
(@Ched): toes?
-+
#12431 (591/1101)
<Hiroe> he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
<Hiroe> like, HUGE costume
<Hiroe> 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
<Hiroe> at some anime con in california
<Hiroe> they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in
the same hotel
<Hiroe> he's riding the elevator down to the con space
<Hiroe> doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
<Hiroe> he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice
-+
#5523 (580/1084)
<Opcode> i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file
-+
#29886 (487/777)
<Garf> Did you know, Alt+Z makes your text go backwards in most
IRC clients?
<Garf> .ereh ti did I ?eeS
* Parts: Bamral (B1@xiph-IALHNG.ne.client2.attbi.com)
* Parts: Benjamin_L (~BenjaminL@xiph-IEIAFM.dip.t-dialin.net)
* Parts: menno (menno@cal16a041.student.utwente.nl)
* Parts: TheLink (TheLink@p213.54.189.36.tisdip.tiscali.de)
-+
#15641 (596/1180)
<superwoman> I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off
while I had a mouthful of beer.
<GrandCow> HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
<superwoman> DANNY?!?!?!
<GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?!
-+
#29696 (480/790)
<Ich> I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood
<Ich> I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the
code for plums, which is 4040.
<Ich> and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in
wrong.
<Ich> and the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404"
<Ich> and I actually laughed out loud
-+
#14728 (-369/481)
<adolf> [2:15 pm] [face:faceme@ix.netcom.com] thats all your
bitch ass can do is throw a nigga from the channel.. bring your
punk ass to PA and we will see who throws who to the floor....
and if your punk ass is on the ground... you will and i mean
will die.... wiith a tech to the head... red neck whitebread
mutherfucker
-+
#6460 (565/1141)
<studdud> what the fuck is wtf
-+
#5863 (499/963)
<mp> i am convinced i am a woman
<Oreoboros> mp: Why's that?
<mp> cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and
left with $700 worth of shit
<mp> and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out
that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain
-+
#2605 (523/1061)
* dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts
* dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha
<dregan> Oh shit.
-+
#291 (444/804)
<ckx> i've got nothing against homos
<ckx> as long as they don't fuck me or touch me
<ckx> they're alright
<gb> what if they cum on you
<ckx> that's a grey area
-+
#29707 (396/658)
<danamania> http://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/stat/finalmeals.htm is a
list of peoples last meal requests in texas
<danamania> before execution.
<danamania> lots of cheeseburgers there
<Hamster> oh thats really sad
<Hamster> it looks like criminals drink coke. pepsi marketing
needs to get hold of this
-+
#275 (-378/604)
<ikkenai> these tortilla chips are growing dangerously salty
<ikkenai> old dutch is approaching the limits of the sodium
frontier
<CanuckGod> ikke: the Ristorante ones?
<ikkenai> yeah
<CanuckGod> those things are as salty as a nigger's balls
-+
#3935 (468/982)
*** Signoff: Morpheus (Connection reset by peer)
*** Morpheus (vanford@host-209-214-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net)
has joined channel #relax
<Morpheus> argh.. that wasn't my speaker cable
-+
#6567 (-333/513)
(ubergash): i swear to jebus if one more fucking nigger uses the
word jew or kyke or the, I'll shank you all
-+
#31211 (295/417)
<gorilla> if i added up all the penis enlargement emails i have,
i would be entitled to, with a money back guarantee, a 14 foot 9
inch penis
-+
#6659 (-341/569)
<_20_today> they just said on tv that in the 74 year history of
the oscars only 8 black actors have been given oscars
<jj> FUCKING NIGGERS
-+
#38 (404/800)
<Relevant> get oral_sex_training_video.mpg
<Relevant> Oops wrong window.
-+
#24 (453/1021)
<ckx> women ask for it
<ckx> they act all old and mature
<ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
<ckx> and they get all bitchy
<ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"
-+
#29631 (379/717)
(joe) what do or did you do wedsday dil?
(@Dilandou) i dressed in drag and hung around in bars.
(@Dilandou) why?
? Joins: joe-y (joe@dialup-171.75.103.181.Dial1.Cincinnati1.Level3.net)
(joe-y) stupid dialup ...what was ur answer?
(@Dilandou) i did some php coding. why?
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#42 (-518/618)
<da_spork> ill give you the honor of having my first quote
-+
#60 (-505/591)
*** EtherMan sets mode: +oo DigDug prysuxirl
-+
#86 (-482/734)
<EM> heh i wonder if there will be any black people in my
classes
<EM> like i couldnt imagine black ppl being in cisco routing!!
because black people just jack cars!!!
-+
#11 (-466/630)
<dazz:#cdr> its it possible to read half a disk at a time, eg, i
have a small hd, can i read 300 mb, burn it, and the do the
another 300 mb, and som on, eg on a psx game
-+
#275 (-376/606)
<ikkenai> these tortilla chips are growing dangerously salty
<ikkenai> old dutch is approaching the limits of the sodium
frontier
<CanuckGod> ikke: the Ristorante ones?
<ikkenai> yeah
<CanuckGod> those things are as salty as a nigger's balls
-+
#14728 (-369/483)
<adolf> [2:15 pm] [face:faceme@ix.netcom.com] thats all your
bitch ass can do is throw a nigga from the channel.. bring your
punk ass to PA and we will see who throws who to the floor....
and if your punk ass is on the ground... you will and i mean
will die.... wiith a tech to the head... red neck whitebread
mutherfucker
-+
#6659 (-340/572)
<_20_today> they just said on tv that in the 74 year history of
the oscars only 8 black actors have been given oscars
<jj> FUCKING NIGGERS
-+
#6567 (-331/515)
(ubergash): i swear to jebus if one more fucking nigger uses the
word jew or kyke or the, I'll shank you all
-+
#10 (-206/332)
<Mishmashi> yesterday i got bisexual services
-+
#21 (-206/376)
<Tempy^^> I'll settle for old and fat
<Tempy^^> begger can't be choosers
<Tempy^^> prolly find used condoms inside of her
-+
#316 (-197/275)
<DumbBitch> AND
<DumbBitch> wtf am i not quoted on the quotes?
<DumbBitch> i have to be one of the most funniest ppl in this
channel :/
-+
#858 (-195/319)
<Berzerker> i saw this black kid at my community college today
with a programming cobol book
<Berzerker> hahahah
<Berzerker> whats a nigga gunna do with cobol
-+
#26 (-190/328)
<AlmtyBob> 401k's are for homos who fucking intend to live until
65
-+
#1246 (-185/303)
<eblan-> if all mexicans just killed themselves the world would
be fixed
-+
#721 (-182/348)
<SWM> The real issue is which candidate will kill more niggers.
<SWM> Gore's idea of poisoned chicken wings is pretty good
<SWM> But I like Bush's idea of a giant oven disguised as a swap
meet.
<SWM> Niggers love swap meets.
-+
#1120 (-169/263)
<`sinOPS> I hope when Orge gets home
<`sinOPS> he finds his girl in bed
<`sinOPS> witha nigger
<`sinOPS> with a dick
<`sinOPS> like this
8===============================================================================
O
-+
#29279 (-163/253)
<Gridle> Mahjong and Nicola make my zits all hard and puss
filed!
-+
#1521 (-161/293)
(br0kerman) leave him alone
(br0kerman) hes more l33t then u
(br0kerman) he deserves +o
(Skizer) no, he can fuck off
(Skizer) he deserves +JEW
(br0kerman) why?
(Skizer) cause he's a faggot
(Skizer) not even +JEW
(br0kerman) hahah
(Skizer) some jew's are cool
(Skizer) he's gay
(Skizer) he deserves +SANFRANCISCO cause he's a flaming faggot
-+
#29527 (-160/232)
<drugwork> like black chicks?
<DJH> you treat them as an entirely different genre and forget
about the comparison.
-+
#29559 (-154/252)
<Atari> Lknaked1 your vagina stinks, bad, plz douche.
-+
#29277 (-151/247)
<Gridle> i eat bullshit
-+
#3805 (-146/256)
<jlone> this channel is full of white trash
<ckjesus2k> at least it's not full of black shit
***ckjesus2k leads a lynch mob to jlone's house
-+
#29712 (-124/360)
<JRC> OMG WTF LOL BBQ P2P ICQ MOM OIL VCR ISP DVD POP 707 IRK
DUI CRT JRC!!!!111!!!111!!!1
-+
#29146 (-123/271)
<ToiletDuk> i know my freedom is already threatened by my own
government
<ToiletDuk> does that mean we get to attack?
<FishBulb> <ToiletDuk> i can't fucking believe my leader is
against gay marriage!!!!
-+
#35208 (-121/157)
<Daphisto> my room smells so bad
<Daphisto> it's almost as if there's a black person living here
;P
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